Paint the Room Red

My younger sister has never had her room decorated just for her. She moved into my brother's room which looks like this:

(That's her by the way, my sister). She decided to paint her room red. Farmhouse Red to be exact (that was the name of the color swatch from Home Depot). But she also wanted a design of vines of some sorts on one of the walls. We looked at vinyl decals until she found the one she wanted, then I proceeded to paint it on the wall.

True to my form, I couldn't follow the design exactly (same thing happens when following recipes, I just can't do it. I'm a rebel), and free spirited my way across her wall. Twelve hours later:

Obviously, this is not the whole wall, but most of it. I'm too lazy to take more pics. And if you're thinking, wow, I wish Elissa would come paint something on my wall, yes I will. Right now, I will paint for money. Or bake. Or dance. Okay, maybe not dance for money, but I would do the hokey poky for money. Creepers.

Recession is NOT like Recess

Hello my fellow cyber buddies. I know, it's been awhile. That would be called going on a 10 day vacation (to Missouri and Nauvoo), coming home and looking for a job and catching a nasty cold (actually, I think it caught me). Through all of this I have decided that even though the word recess is in the word recession, there are hardly any similarities.

My head is congested and I'm so hopeless on the job hunt that I can't even think of witty things to say about the subject. So instead I'll just post pictures from our trip.

Look, I'm the Sting song "Among the fields of Gold" or is it fields of Barley?...

Fathers with little hair on the top of their head make for great places to put frogs. Without them knowing, of course.

Forget the fact that my brother isn't a real farmer, this is a real old tractor.

Yes, that is me driving a tractor. No, that is not a 9 year old teaching me how to drive it. Er, okay, maybe it is.

No, I will not get on that wagon. Especially with all those happy people. Boo to them.

This picture does make me happy. Too bad it can't also find me a job.

Tanner ate some weird stuff that made him look freakish. I think it was frog legs.

Of course we can't forget the Nauvoo temple. I know, the angel Moroni got cut off. Don't judge me.

And finally, my rainbow family. We really didn't even try to coordinate, that is what makes it even funnier. Then there's the black rain cloud, Trenton. Just glad we don't have to live in a log cabin, or I'd be crazier than I already am.

In other news, somebody fell in love with me via my blog and started leaving comments like passionate romance letters. But it was written in some sort of code, the words Cialis and Viagra coming up often. So to make this mysterious lover work harder, I changed my settings so that if you want to comment, you'll have to type the word you see. Let me know if it doesn't work, and I see what face I can punch in to make it work.

Happy Tuesday.

If You Stayed With LOST Until the End

If you actually watched LOST up until the very bitter end like I did (although I wanted to quit multiple times, but felt like I had put so much time and energy into my television relationship that I had to see it to the death), this article helps lightbulbs go off in the head after watching the season finale. Of course you have to take some things into consideration, and some of the explanations may not be the perfect truth, but it sure helps it all make sense. It's okay to admit you're pathetic like me. It's not okay to be me. Because that would be considered identity theft.
Lost Finale Explained

I Don't Know What I'm Doing

It's been awhile. Maybe because I hate my blog look, and just haven't found it inside of me to design my own from scratch. To update everyone: I am jobless but not homeless. I will use pictures I have taken on multiple excursions to tell you my story.

I almost got a job working with a crazy company. I will not name their ethnicity, but they like fish, like the picture above. They were going to pay me $10 an hour to be their graphic designer.

I felt like Pacman. Running around in this maze we call life, sometimes eating the bad guys, other times getting eaten by the ghosts.

When will the light get turned on? Will someone ever brush away the cobwebs of my mind? I hate it when spiders are in my dwelling space.

I had some other interviews. But to no avail. I'm like the little guy on Horton Hears a Who. Or am I like the elephant? Let's be honest, I'm the weird creature who said when they created their own world it would have ponies that pooped rainbows.

It's not quite as bad as The Grapes of Wrath. If anyone has read the end of that book, they'll especially understand.

But I am up in a tree. What is my dream job? I don't even know. If you know, you should let me know, then I can get down from the tree.

I think we should have a contest, the name being The Perfect Job for Elissa. Submit your ideas, and then maybe my ship will finally be able to sail.

I'm looking for a fountain of ideas here people.

Or a man that can whisk me away to a house like this one and I wouldn't have to worry about dumb interviews and what the perfect job would be. I'd only have to manage all the servants. Good thing I went to college.

But at the end of the day, I'm still me and still obsessed with alligators. So perhaps I should become an alligator handler and they would bring me pretty flowers like this one.

I hope all of you were bored to tears. What can I say; I'm a high achiever.

What's My Name Again?

From watching a 4 year-old the other day:

Me: Everett...
Everett: That's not my name
Me: Well what's your name
Everett: Everett dot com dot org (said very fast)
Me: Then what's your last name?
Everett: dot org! Duh! And my middle name is dot com.

I think this kid is onto something.

On the Catwalk

It has been said that there is no future for me in modeling. I probably agree. However, if getting a real career doesn't work out for me, I may look into this line of work more. Please don't become overly jealous of my mad modeling skills as shown below. If requested, I guess I could hold a two day $500 seminar about some techniques I've naturally come by through the years. Comment now, and I'll throw in a free positive compliment about your nose shape.

This says "I'll save the world and your little dog too."

Desperate Housewives, meet desperate single...

My mother always said I was ghastly to look at in the morning

I hate it when you yell. I hate it more when I can see right through you.

 

Pioneer is so the new sexy

For puzzling questions: this is used for cannibals

I like to call this one "blizzard of the month-strawberry fury"

 

Lesson learned from all above photos? Never smile when modeling. It shows you have a heart. Models should not waste body volume on hearts. 

100 Adventures

I just realized this is my 100th blog. Not realizing this, I already planned something else. I should also technically be talking about the end of my college career and how this is a new chapter in my life blah blah blah, but I decided to post about my adventure the other day.

Even though it was my last semester at college, I actually didn't do that many things on the weekends. So with one weekend left, I wanted to go on an adventure. I won't go into detail about how my roommates didn't want to go on an adventure with me, it'll suffice to say they didn't want to go on an adventure. Okay, they probably did, just not the one I suggested.

Last Friday we got a stage 5 blizzard (I don't know the rating system, this seems legit though) and the next day it was so beautiful--as I posted about previously. The next day, Saturday, was general conference. In between sessions I decided to take my fate in my own hands and go on my own adventure. I just realized what a long introduction this is for some simple pictures I took, but I like the look of my own typing...

I drove out to out there Idaho and ended up randomly finding this nature trail that overlooked miles and miles. The cool part was I was all by myself and there was the exciting dangerous thought that I may be mauled by a mountain lion. But I wasn't. Here is the product of this long-overdrawn-wordy-post:

This looks like the horses are about to have a gun fight. I think the brown one got some extra oats that day and so the tan one was jealous. Or maybe they were the fighting for the honor of their sister the mule.

Obviously this wasn't naturally black and white, but I thought it looked a tad cooler without color.

The Snake River was right below and super blue. No, I didn't fall off the side of the mountain. Because it wasn't the mountain.

And the panorama for my blog post title was also taken during this outing. This is the end of this page turning  blog post, and you can now get back to your exciting life.