My 13 year old brother, Tanner, just asked me "Do you think it's weird if you find a dog attractive?" I didn't have an answer for him.
The other night, after everyone had gone to bed and I was up wasting away my life watching TV, Tanner came down stairs with wet hair and a shocked look on his face.
"Elissa, why did I just take a shower?" It's 11:40 p.m. I start laughing. He asks me again. "Elissa, why did I just take a shower?"
I said "Did you really just take a shower?" He nods his head.
"I got up, took a shower and then saw that it was still dark. Why did I do that?" I told him that happens to lots of people, who think it's time to get up and get ready when it's still only 11:40 at night (although, oddly enough, I've actually never done that). He just kept looking at me, like someone had given him the David-after-the-dentist-drug. I asked if he wanted to go back to his room, but he said it was too creepy. So he snuggled up on the couch and I finished watching The Office.
*Update: After the awesome email I sent to a job offer, I find out the whole thing is a scam. Look at me, wasting my best words on a scam.
*And someone had asked what kind of dog Max is. He's a White German Shepherd.
*I also finished reading The Help. I loved it. Though, it did make me want a maid (I don't care what her race is). Is that bad?
Showing posts with label Sleep Stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sleep Stories. Show all posts
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
The Milk Story
I figured now is as good as time as any to tell you the milk story. Some of you have heard it, some of you haven't, but only I lived it.
I've had sleeping...issues... for awhile. Although they have gotten somewhat worse in my older age. But this sleep story takes place when I was a junior in high school.
I am the oldest of six children, so our house was/is pretty high on the decibel/activity chart. One day, my whole family was gone except me, so I decided to take a nap in the quiet solitude.
During the deep blissful state of REM, someone at the door was constantly ringing the doorbell. Being in a drunken like stupor, I answered the door to find a salesman. He was selling milk that would be delivered to your porch once a week (kind of like the old days, except the milk came in plastic not glass).
He asked if I was the lady in charge of the house. I told him I was (my logical thinking was that no one was home, therefore for the time being I was the lady in charge of the house). He then asked how many were in the family so he could calculate how much milk we needed. I told him there were 6 kids and two adults (which was true). He then looked at me amazed, put out his hand and said "may I shake the hand of the woman who looks so good for having six kids."
I shook his hand. I didn't correct him.
Before I knew it, I was signing up for 3 gallons of milk every 3 days. I even signed my mom's signature. It all happened so fast. He was a smooth salesman that had interrupted my nap. That's a bad combination.
When my parents returned home I told them about the incident, accidentally forgetting the part where I had signed my mom's name. They laughed and said I was crazy, especially because there is no way we drink that much milk that fast.
We forgot about the whole thing until the next Tuesday. At like 4:30 that morning my parents heard this thump at the door. They looked out the window and saw this random truck by our driveway. My dad, being the protector that he is, ran down the stairs, out the door, only to almost kill himself by tripping on 3 gallons of milk.
Then they saw the bill attached to the home delivered 3 gallons of milk. My parents weren't laughing anymore.
Six gallons of milk and many a phone battle later, my mom finally got it all taken care of.
Moral of the story: it's all fun and games to wake me up during the middle of a nap, just don't expect any sort of logical outcomes.
I've had sleeping...issues... for awhile. Although they have gotten somewhat worse in my older age. But this sleep story takes place when I was a junior in high school.
I am the oldest of six children, so our house was/is pretty high on the decibel/activity chart. One day, my whole family was gone except me, so I decided to take a nap in the quiet solitude.
During the deep blissful state of REM, someone at the door was constantly ringing the doorbell. Being in a drunken like stupor, I answered the door to find a salesman. He was selling milk that would be delivered to your porch once a week (kind of like the old days, except the milk came in plastic not glass).
He asked if I was the lady in charge of the house. I told him I was (my logical thinking was that no one was home, therefore for the time being I was the lady in charge of the house). He then asked how many were in the family so he could calculate how much milk we needed. I told him there were 6 kids and two adults (which was true). He then looked at me amazed, put out his hand and said "may I shake the hand of the woman who looks so good for having six kids."
I shook his hand. I didn't correct him.
Before I knew it, I was signing up for 3 gallons of milk every 3 days. I even signed my mom's signature. It all happened so fast. He was a smooth salesman that had interrupted my nap. That's a bad combination.
When my parents returned home I told them about the incident, accidentally forgetting the part where I had signed my mom's name. They laughed and said I was crazy, especially because there is no way we drink that much milk that fast.
We forgot about the whole thing until the next Tuesday. At like 4:30 that morning my parents heard this thump at the door. They looked out the window and saw this random truck by our driveway. My dad, being the protector that he is, ran down the stairs, out the door, only to almost kill himself by tripping on 3 gallons of milk.
Then they saw the bill attached to the home delivered 3 gallons of milk. My parents weren't laughing anymore.
Six gallons of milk and many a phone battle later, my mom finally got it all taken care of.
Moral of the story: it's all fun and games to wake me up during the middle of a nap, just don't expect any sort of logical outcomes.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
While I was sleeping
It is a fact universally known that I fall asleep during church.
Today in church, when I fell asleep, I awoke with a gasp because I thought the plate of strawberries I was holding had fallen. Good thing I wasn't actually holding a plate of strawberries.
I also thought the speaker said something to the effect of "Charlie Sheen and the Chocolate Factory," which I don't think he did. I don't know for sure though, I was drifting in and out of consciousness.
Speaking of Charlie Sheen, this brilliant person paired Sheen's crazy comments with the comic strip Family Circus. It's just what that comic strip needed to make it funny.
Today in church, when I fell asleep, I awoke with a gasp because I thought the plate of strawberries I was holding had fallen. Good thing I wasn't actually holding a plate of strawberries.
I also thought the speaker said something to the effect of "Charlie Sheen and the Chocolate Factory," which I don't think he did. I don't know for sure though, I was drifting in and out of consciousness.
Speaking of Charlie Sheen, this brilliant person paired Sheen's crazy comments with the comic strip Family Circus. It's just what that comic strip needed to make it funny.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Business Cards and What woke Me Up
I have been pretty busy with this whole Letter Chef thing I'm doing. And yes, I except all of you to have gone and look at my stuff. Or bad karma will happen. Yesterday, I got my business cards from MOO. For those who haven't heard of them, your business cards are printed front and back on the nicest-thickest paper, and the best part, you can have a different photo/design on every single card! So I uploaded some of my alphabet photos for the back. This way, when people ask what in the heck I'm talking about, I pull out three to four of my business cards and make a word.
This picture really doesn't do them justice, but you get the idea. I'm in love with them.
In other news, on Sunday at church I was unusually tired from right off the bat. I usually don't start falling asleep until the 2nd speaker, but I was a goner right after the sacrament ended. I was soon awoken from a dead rock sleep when I suddenly heard my name from the pulpit. I did not know what was going on, but my fears were confirmed when they repeated the order of impromtu speakers (because for some reason we had no speakers so the called people out from the audience). The sad part was, apparently those that were speaking were supposedly those who had recently returned home from their missions. When I got up I made sure to let them know it has almost been 3 YEARS since I've been home. Sheesh. The good news is I stayed awake for the rest of Sacrament. Moral of story- if you are going to fall asleep in church every Sunday, make sure your subconscious is alert for you.
This picture really doesn't do them justice, but you get the idea. I'm in love with them.
In other news, on Sunday at church I was unusually tired from right off the bat. I usually don't start falling asleep until the 2nd speaker, but I was a goner right after the sacrament ended. I was soon awoken from a dead rock sleep when I suddenly heard my name from the pulpit. I did not know what was going on, but my fears were confirmed when they repeated the order of impromtu speakers (because for some reason we had no speakers so the called people out from the audience). The sad part was, apparently those that were speaking were supposedly those who had recently returned home from their missions. When I got up I made sure to let them know it has almost been 3 YEARS since I've been home. Sheesh. The good news is I stayed awake for the rest of Sacrament. Moral of story- if you are going to fall asleep in church every Sunday, make sure your subconscious is alert for you.
Monday, October 25, 2010
I Run To You
The other night I had a dream where I was chasing a black man, and as a universal truth, you ain't going to out run a black man; but the funny part was when I woke myself up because I was actually running in bed. Lying down, of course. Although, it would make for an even greater story if I had stood up and was running on my bed. But then I might have run off of it and hurt myself and not been able to write this post. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
A dream is a wish your brain makes
I read this on msn's site, and thought it was interesting:
"Can you vividly recall your dreams each morning? Your sleep style indicates that you are likely highly creative in your waking life.
"People with an intensely high level of dream recall have something called 'thin borders,'" says James Pagel, M.D., director of the Sleepworks Laboratory in Colorado Springs, Colo. "That means that for them, everything is in shades of gray, there's not whole lot of black or white. They’re not purely Democrats or Republicans; they are not quite asleep or awake; and they define much of their lives in that way."
Such people tend to be odd and quirky—and although most are perfectly normal, they are at higher risk than others for schizophrenia."
What I'm trying to say is; make sure I don't get schizophrenia.
"Can you vividly recall your dreams each morning? Your sleep style indicates that you are likely highly creative in your waking life.
"People with an intensely high level of dream recall have something called 'thin borders,'" says James Pagel, M.D., director of the Sleepworks Laboratory in Colorado Springs, Colo. "That means that for them, everything is in shades of gray, there's not whole lot of black or white. They’re not purely Democrats or Republicans; they are not quite asleep or awake; and they define much of their lives in that way."
Such people tend to be odd and quirky—and although most are perfectly normal, they are at higher risk than others for schizophrenia."
What I'm trying to say is; make sure I don't get schizophrenia.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Caution to Prude Readers
I realized that Sept is soon departing, and I figured that if I want to beat my June record of 13 blogs I better get my butt into gear. So this post fufills many purposes. One of which may or may not be the fact that I'm avoiding homework.
Tonight was the Relief Society General Broadcast. I was exhausted (thinking I may have Rexburg flu- strand known as HE11...partially joking). Are we putting two and two together? I decided to watch it from my own apartment, because I usually do better at paying attention that way (75% of my battle is lost when the church finds it necessary to turn off the lights in many of their venues). I barely heard the first opening choir number. It was touch and go from there.
As most of you know, I proceeded to make comments; sometimes slightly aware of what I was saying, other times not at all.The following story may be somewhat offensive, just remember I cannot be held accountable for what happens when I'm sleeping. Like buying milk (whole other story). And it was told to me by my roommate, who could have been making it up. But I sadly doubt it.
The second to last speaker, Sis Thompson ( I think that's her name- I was asleep, remember?) was apparently talking about how she was still single and had never been married. And right there from the comfort of my apartment living room I told her out loud in my sleep deprived state... "no testicles."
Yes, you read that right. I just put it in smaller text to lessen the damage it may have on your pysche. What did I mean of this? I have no idea. My roommate said she almost peed her pants. Yes, folks, I don't get embarrassed too easily, but I must say I'm embarrassed. Or maybe more ashamed then embarrassed. Please don't judge me.
Tonight was the Relief Society General Broadcast. I was exhausted (thinking I may have Rexburg flu- strand known as HE11...partially joking). Are we putting two and two together? I decided to watch it from my own apartment, because I usually do better at paying attention that way (75% of my battle is lost when the church finds it necessary to turn off the lights in many of their venues). I barely heard the first opening choir number. It was touch and go from there.
As most of you know, I proceeded to make comments; sometimes slightly aware of what I was saying, other times not at all.The following story may be somewhat offensive, just remember I cannot be held accountable for what happens when I'm sleeping. Like buying milk (whole other story). And it was told to me by my roommate, who could have been making it up. But I sadly doubt it.
The second to last speaker, Sis Thompson ( I think that's her name- I was asleep, remember?) was apparently talking about how she was still single and had never been married. And right there from the comfort of my apartment living room I told her out loud in my sleep deprived state... "no testicles."
Yes, you read that right. I just put it in smaller text to lessen the damage it may have on your pysche. What did I mean of this? I have no idea. My roommate said she almost peed her pants. Yes, folks, I don't get embarrassed too easily, but I must say I'm embarrassed. Or maybe more ashamed then embarrassed. Please don't judge me.
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