The following is a true story. My roommate Jackie got a friend request on Facebook and after she agreed, this boy sent her this message. Mind you, she has never met him or has any ties to him whatsoever. He is a complete stranger to her and attends BYU. After getting the message, she didn't know what to write back, so naturally I took charge and wrote back for her.Read on...
Hi Jacque,
I am glad that you took the faith to add me on your profile. Should I take it, that you're interested in exploring possibilities for a relationship? I have been long back from my mission in Cape town, and not it is high on my priorities to meet my eternal companion. Don't be shy if you feel like persuing that direction. Otherwise, I am glad to meet you. Ask, if there is anything you want to know about me.
Simon
Sims,
I'm so flattered that you find me as a potential eternal companion. At this time I only am pursuing a career to make money. Although I am a faithful member of the church, I do not believe I am your type. First off, we actually haven't met. Secondly, if you're trying to woe a potential eternal companion, use their Christian given name. Nicknames are saved for intimate lovers; which we are not. You seem like a nice guy. There is something I would like to ask you, how in the good name of Obama did you chance across my profile? I only added you because curiosity killed the cat (my cat died after wondering what it was like to sleep in the next to the engine of my dad's F-150). I'm not saying I've died, if we're still going with the cat metaphor then I still have plenty of lives. Besides all of this, the distance between our hearts and geographical wise would create too much tension that would result in a long car ride listening to Celine Dion songs. And I'm not talking about myself. So to wrap it up like a crazy person wearing only cellophane (to which the psychiatrist said "I can clearly see your nuts") I'm going to politely say thanks but no thanks without giving a long drawn out explanation. You have a good one.
(He wrote this back to her the next day)
I am sorry if l did upset you,
I must mention though, that you're such a gifted
writer. I am not anywhere near your ability, l will
therefore give up the ideas I propossed. If however along the way, you can see the better side of what can come between me and you, you're welcome to throw me a line. Best wishes,
Simon
2 comments:
Oh man she should have atleast given him a chance! just for more laughs.
LOL! You are a gifted writer. That is hysterical!
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