Recipe for...

Recipe for Anger

½ A night’s sleep
1 cup Spoiled Milk
3 days Without Hot Water
2 ½ Dirty Looks From Others
1 Crashed Computer
1 Manipulative “Friend”

1. Combine the above ingredients into a bottle, let ferment inside of ripe intestines (preferably your own, but a spouse’s will do if you’re in a pinch).
2. Playing heavy metal music, punching walls or throwing shoes will add to atmospheric quality. Will also get rid of any other cooks in the kitchen.
2. Oven temperature varies, can be 250° to 6000°, depending on desired consistency. A brief anger requires a lower temperature and lesser time, revengeful-grudge anger needs to be as hot as possible with days to week of baking time. Altitude will not change outcome, rage can thrive in any climate.
3. For great examples of presenting the meal, Google images of “Mt. St. Helen’s Erupting,” “Southern California Fires,” or “Bikini Island Experiments.”
4. DO NOT let meal be touched by soothing words, apologizes, a dozen roses, or Celine Dion concerts. Will destroy recipe completely.
4. This can be shared or made into an individual portion. Author recommends serving on a wrestling mat if taking to share with others.
*This recipe can be made richer by multiplying any of the above ingredients (NOTE: Adding more than one manipulative “friend” will change concoction all together. See recipe for Insanity).