Halloween Grays

I had the best Halloween costume planned out. I didn't think of it, but I haven't seen someone in real life wear it (this is as opposed to fake life, which we all know consists of Kardashians).

I was going for the "desaturated" look, like these:

Instead, I got this:

I felt like a wannabe sparkly vampire. And I definitely did not wannabe a sparkly vampire.

When people would ask what I was, instead of explaining to them how I epically failed, I said "what do you think I am?" Whatever answer they gave I would enthusiastically nod and say "that's exactly right! How did you know?"

Maybe next year I'll drink a lot of water and go as "saturated."

Carlos Norris

Today I was sad. I needed something to make me happy. I photoshopped Chuck Norris in his true identity -- Carlos Norris. Yep, that's his real name.

Here's Chuck Norris, the one we all know and love:

And here's Carlos Norris, the one too scary to even make jokes about:

I feel happier.