Stream of Consciousness

I think some people only have a creek (or crick) of thoughts. I was just going to say “I wonder if people ever have a dry spell of thoughts” when I realized that my brain becomes a vast Sahara desert multiple times of the day.

I wish camel caravans would cross it. If they did, I would stop and ask them to lead me to water. Or I’d slice open one of the camels and suck its humped water reserve dry. Then again, I bet most caravans these days carry an assortment of guns, so it would be a risky business, and I’m not making a Tom Cruise reference.

Ben and Jerry's Part II

The other night I bought another Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream. In case you don’t remember, the last carton of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream that I bought ran away with the neighbors’ popsicles for a cold love affair. This time around, this one didn’t escape. The only escaping it will see is the toilet bowl. I’m just saying.

Price of Glory

I don't normally post stuff like this, but this article is very thought provoking. The other day I was contemplating what it means to "be the best." The thought occurred to me that our culture celebrates only the best, those who dedicate themselves to one task, eliminating practically everything else. Yes, I'm talking about Olympic athletes, among others. Think about the motivational posters in our schools-they are usually NBA stars and celebrities and the such. What does this teach us at a young age? I'll get off my soap box now, but you really should read this article that was shown to me after telling someone my thoughts.
The Price of Glory

When You Try For An Eternal Companion on Facebook

The following is a true story. My roommate Jackie got a friend request on Facebook and after she agreed, this boy sent her this message. Mind you, she has never met him or has any ties to him whatsoever. He is a complete stranger to her and attends BYU. After getting the message, she didn't know what to write back, so naturally I took charge and wrote back for her.Read on...

Hi Jacque,
I am glad that you took the faith to add me on your profile. Should I take it, that you're interested in exploring possibilities for a relationship? I have been long back from my mission in Cape town, and not it is high on my priorities to meet my eternal companion. Don't be shy if you feel like persuing that direction. Otherwise, I am glad to meet you. Ask, if there is anything you want to know about me.
Simon

Sims,
I'm so flattered that you find me as a potential eternal companion. At this time I only am pursuing a career to make money. Although I am a faithful member of the church, I do not believe I am your type. First off, we actually haven't met. Secondly, if you're trying to woe a potential eternal companion, use their Christian given name. Nicknames are saved for intimate lovers; which we are not. You seem like a nice guy. There is something I would like to ask you, how in the good name of Obama did you chance across my profile? I only added you because curiosity killed the cat (my cat died after wondering what it was like to sleep in the next to the engine of my dad's F-150). I'm not saying I've died, if we're still going with the cat metaphor then I still have plenty of lives. Besides all of this, the distance between our hearts and geographical wise would create too much tension that would result in a long car ride listening to Celine Dion songs. And I'm not talking about myself. So to wrap it up like a crazy person wearing only cellophane (to which the psychiatrist said "I can clearly see your nuts") I'm going to politely say thanks but no thanks without giving a long drawn out explanation. You have a good one.

(He wrote this back to her the next day)
I am sorry if l did upset you,
I must mention though, that you're such a gifted
writer. I am not anywhere near your ability, l will
therefore give up the ideas I propossed. If however along the way, you can see the better side of what can come between me and you, you're welcome to throw me a line. Best wishes,
Simon

Who I Am

According to Urban Dictionary.com, Elissa is: A sultry and exotic looking woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. An Elissa is a rare kind of woman who is widely known for her great personality and warmheartedness. She is an exceptionally goodnatured person who has an unparalleled ability to light up anyone's life. Elissas are also known for their unsurpassing cooking skills...and dance skills. A person you won't ever forget. If you happen to meet an Elissa, consider yourself extremely lucky.

Wow. I swear I didn't write this. I guess now it is out for the world to know that yes, I do have unsurpassing dance skills. I wasn't about to flaunt that with anyone, as there are only a lucky few who have gotten to witness this talent. Look up your name. Not promising it will match so awesomely as mine did, but give the fates a chance.