To Catch a Job

It's no secret I'm on the look out for a new job. I was alerted to a copy writing position that I thought would be a good fit for me. When I started to type up the obligatory "my name is Elissa and please give me this job" email, I thought screw that. I wanted to show these people that I have a funny bone and a creative bone in my body.

I decided to make it look like Entertainment Weekly had interviewed me about my skills as a wordsmith. To do that, I also needed sweet pictures to back up those fightin' words. I roped my dear friend Adrian into a photo shoot that we pulled together in less than 2 days. Seriously, we worked magic.

My favorite aspect is that we were able to get a real anvil. Knowing great people like my friend Mary is like knowing the janitor staff at the Capitol. You get hooked up. The stump that the anvil is sitting on? That'd be fire wood that I rebundled to look like a tree stump. A stump from a stump. We made the legs of the work desk from every hard cover book Adrian owned. I bought a ton of chipboard letters at the HL (Hobby Lobby) and spray painted them black then threw them everywhere. Unfortunately most of the letters didn't even get a cameo appearance in the shoot; but now I have a ton of spray painted black letters if you ever needed to do your own version of Sesame Street.

We set up the shoot on a Saturday morning, and by the time we got it all set up, we only had 20 minutes to do that actual picture taking because I had to go into work. Adrian's an angel and cleaned it all up after. And isn't she a great photographer? She's does weddings if you're interested.

Sunday night I wrote out the "interview" and designed the pages. I'll admit, it's not my best work, but I really wanted to submit it by Monday. You never know when these opportunities will close.

And yes, I did spell out "hire me" with my black letters. It seemed better than silly words like "live," "laugh," or "love."

So far I haven't heard back from them. But if you're another potential employee impressed with my ninja skills, please contact me. I'd be delighted, to say the least.

Here's the interview if you aren't able to channel your inner Superman eyesight:

Elissa, how long have you considered yourself a wordsmith?
Does spelling “change my diaper” in pureed green beans count as wordsmithing? If so, I’d say since I was 10 months old.

That seems abnormally young to be using the written word. Are you a prodigy?
I was a prodigy. Unfortunately, I had to squelch my inner genius for the sake of my parents. I’m sure watching your toddler copy John Grisham novels onto the wall with crayon was a bit unnerving. Instead, I would placate them by playing peek-a-boo for hours; they really loved that stupid game.

We heard that you’ve even written while sleeping.
[Laughs] What can I say, I’m an excellent multi-tasker. While attending BYU-Idaho (where I majored in graphic design and minored in journalism), I would sometimes nod off during class. I didn’t want the teacher to be too offended at their lack of presentation skills, so I’d keep my pencil moving to look like I was writing notes. Sometimes I’d wake up and find I’d written out a dream without remembering it.

Tell me about your brainstorming capabilities
Sorry, no can do. Trade secrets and all. However, I will tell you being a ginger and having no soul grants me special privileges and certain, shall we say, opportunities.

Do you consider yourself a hard worker?
Do I look like a Cyberman? I believe you meant to ask if I work hard. Then the answer is yes. Unless it involves quantum physics or long division; if that’s the case, then I check out faster than Lindsey Lohan leaving rehab. Bless her heart.

You haven’t exactly had a writing job before, yet you consider yourself a wordsmith. Elaborate.
Working at Walt Disney World, driving buses in Alaska, being a copy editor for a small paper, and working in a craft store are all part of my plan to take over the wor … uh, I mean, become a master wordsmith. I like to think of those experiences as manure which has fertilized my idea garden. I tell you, I’ve got some exotic plants growing in my head which are just waiting for the right moment to be harvested.

You lived in Alaska?
Fairbanks, Alaska, to be exact. I even made the choice to stay there a winter. My grandfather may have walked to school in the snow uphill both ways, but I walked to my car in -40 degree weather without the help of my dogsled team or Sarah Palin. I hate to sound prideful, but I’m pretty sure I just one-upped my progenitors.

Well you are just a treasure. Any final words?
I just want to point out that this interview and photo shoot were thrown together in three days. Imagine the things I could accomplish with a team and a paycheck. My name is Elissa, and I’m a wordsmith.

*Yes, I did also send them a regular resume so they knew where I went to school and those kind of boring details.

Apple of my Pie

My aunt wants to start a pie blog. All pie all the time. So she wants me to design it. Being the gracious person I am, I said yes. It gives me purpose in life.

The most important first step was coming up with a great name, which my sister actually thought of, "Apple of My Pie." But, that domain name is already taken, even though they haven't posted anything yet. And even though we could do .net or something, I didn't think it was a good idea unless we could have the .com. Other names were given, like "Princess and the Pie" or "Pie Politics," but she decided on "Pie Parade," (which just so happens to be a name I thought of. And an old Betty Crocker cook book -- didn't find that out until after).

Step two: design beautiful blog. Step one of step two is figuring out theme/banner/logo, because the rest of the blog design will fall into place. Yesterday we had a pie party so I could take lots of pictures. I really wanted to do a photo shoot resembling this banner (isn't it gorgeous?):

But ended up with this.

I knew mine wasn't going to turn out like that guy's, because he's a professional food photographer. But a girl can dream. I took some of my favorite elements from the shoot to create this collage, which reminds me a lot of my friend Melissa's floral inspiration boards -- thanks Melissa!

I really like the collage, I'm just not sure how I'll incorporate the name. Oh, woe to the little details. Here are some other photos; tell me what you think, or if you have a great idea for the blog banner/logo. My aunt and I were thinking the theme should be county fair/americana, with blues, reds and creams. And if you're in the area and we have another pie day, and you gave me a really good idea or led me to my future husband, I'll let you have some pie.

 Side view. Duh. 

Above: My mom and Aunt Quenta setting it all up. And my dog Captain chilling.

Fun fact, the pink quilt as the semi-back drop was made by my great great grandmother, the doily under the lemon pie was made by my grandmother and the picnic table was made by my father. And the trumpet, well that was just my brother's, but the fun fact about it is that there was $150 in a wallet in the trumpet case that my other brother had put there to "hide" like three years ago and we rediscovered it yesterday. You know your money is well hidden when even you forget where it is.

In the Trees

If a tree falls down in the forest, with no one around, does it make a noise? Better yet, what happens when crazy smart Japanese people create a giant xylophone made from wood, put it in the forest, and roll a ball down it - does it make noise? The answer is that someone is filming the whole thing, so yes, it does. Watch and be astounded. If you can't figure out the song, it's Bach's Jesu Joy of a Man's Desiring (one of my all time favorite songs to boot).

They Asked For It

I was in charge of making fliers for the ward Talent Show. I am planning on participating in the Talent Show, but it's a secret of what I'm going to be doing. I'll let you know once it's all over how it went.

I'm pretty sure I spent more time than was needed, but this is what happens when you've been out of school for almost a year and almost can't handle your life because you have no huge project deadlines looming. I've always wanted to do some sort of poster in the circus/carnival style, so I thought this was the perfect opportunity. And yes, I made sure I put on a "filter" before creating this so as not to weird people out/offend anyone/cause anyone to go apostate/make all the boys fall madly in love with me. I know you understand.

I am the Letter Chef

Remember a long time ago when I said I was going to try to make money designing blogs? Well...that didn't pan out like the 1849 gold rush. But remember those alphabet name pictures I made for my mom's sisters? Well...that's panning out a little better. In fact, my mom decided I should try to actually sell them. So I've been taking hundreds of pictures in cool spots around here in So Cal to beef up my stock of letters. And then we got a business license. And a seller's permit. And a fictitious business name. And I signed up on Etsy (because I could have made my own website, but honestly did not want to deal with that mess).  And we found a great local printer for the pictures. And we found a custom frame shop. And now I'm finally posting about this and introducing that I am the Letter Chef (not to be confused with any super hero of the same name. It's not like I'm revealing my secret identity. Or maybe I am). Without further adieu:


First you take a picture of something that looks like a letter (in this case an "E")

Find some other letters (S)

And then combine them together (it says "Cundiff")

To see more, go to my site: www.letterchef.etsy.com. When you click on the individual letters, there is another picture in a column that shows you more options of the same letter. Except "Z" - I only have two lonely ones. I know, I'm working on it. I may be willing to pay for a good Z picture (or any letter for that fact) if you'd like to submit one. The problem is they need to be in a vertical format, so remember that when looking for me. Because let's face it, I'll never have Oompa Loompas, so I'm relying on you.

Sister Art

My mom needed me to make a gift for her sisters as they were having a sister's reunion/quilting extravaganza this weekend. I have been taking pictures of "letters" of the alphabet, as found in the world around me. Remember how Sesame Street does that for the letter of the day? These are their last names, and technically the letters should all be in one line for easier reading, but due to space and money limitations, this was the next best thing. See if you can figure out the letters. And if you want one for yourself, let me know and I can send you the files.

 

Cowley

Hatch

(The star is just a filler. You have any better ideas?)

 

Kellis

(When I was doing this project last minute, I realized I didn't have any Ks. So the K here was really an R, and I photoshopped out my brother and then cropped it to a K. O K?)

 

Moon

 

Shumway

Stringham

Warne

Oh, and the borders aren't necessarily the same width all the way around because I had to fit everything on an 8x10 fit. Printing larger than 8x10 can get pricey.

Broccoli and Blogs

I finally finished Rachael and Job's blog.

It took so long because 1.After hours and tears and broccoli induced gas (okay, so last part was TMI, and actually it had nothing to due with the overdueness of the blog, but it sounded cool at the time), I learned that you should not use Photobucket as an image host service. I used ImageShack, and once I did that, well the heavens were open my friends. It all had to do with the background, and if you want me to go into really long boring details, you can e-mail me and I will tell them to you, but I suggest you bring your own bowl of broccoli and ranch dip.

2. I played mommy this past week (remember, I'm bumming it at home) because the real parentals were in Missouri for my dad's father's funeral. Yes, my grandpa died. And no, as sad as it may seem, I'm not torn up by it because I never knew the man (my grandpa); and that is actually the real sad part of the story. The reason I didn't know him would be told if you follow instructions above (including the broccoli and ranch dip).

3. There is no #3 - design wise it's not the best to have only two items. Three always looks much better.

And because I know I left all of you in such a nose hanger awhile ago about what I was going to name my blog, I will tell it to you. I wanted to have a site designed to then surprise everyone, but I'm running into a roadblock with the design, so here it goes:

Le Blog Chef

Frenchy, right? Probably due to my love for pastries. I did appreciate all the entries and votes and in the end came up with something entirely different. Broccoli will do that to you.

Check out Rachael and Job's blog and then tell how I should design my own. Love you. Mean it.

Pie Lady Take 2

So I made some changes on pie lady, namely her eyes, cheeks and mouth. What do you think? I then put her in this header design (yes, I made it, with my puppet friends). Any suggestions? Should I wear pearls when I bake as well?

Eat this Pie

Lesson learned when trying to be frugal and making your own illustrations: don't. It's far cheaper to just buy a stock illustration. Believe me. Unless, of course, that is your profession and you have a wacom tablet. The below illustration is something that yes, I created. The below illustration is something that took many moons and many moccasins to accomplish (thankfully, the Indian reservation doesn't know I've left). It is for a friend's blog, In The Kitchen Where I Belong (ITKWIB). She wanted a 50s retro woman. Here she is.

Yes, I know her face doesn't look quite right (she needs cheek bones and her mouth is wonky. Maybe womens' mouths were wonky back then anyway). Any other suggestions are welcome. And I will now be subscribing to istock.

Eggo my Logo

A dear old friend from Georgia asked if I could help make a logo for her photography business. Of course I said "Heck Yes!" After much time of font browsing and logo brainstorming, I came up with this little baby (actually, I came up with a lot more, but this is the one she chose). Check out her new site with new logo! Weller Image Specialist

Paint the Room Red

My younger sister has never had her room decorated just for her. She moved into my brother's room which looks like this:

(That's her by the way, my sister). She decided to paint her room red. Farmhouse Red to be exact (that was the name of the color swatch from Home Depot). But she also wanted a design of vines of some sorts on one of the walls. We looked at vinyl decals until she found the one she wanted, then I proceeded to paint it on the wall.

True to my form, I couldn't follow the design exactly (same thing happens when following recipes, I just can't do it. I'm a rebel), and free spirited my way across her wall. Twelve hours later:

Obviously, this is not the whole wall, but most of it. I'm too lazy to take more pics. And if you're thinking, wow, I wish Elissa would come paint something on my wall, yes I will. Right now, I will paint for money. Or bake. Or dance. Okay, maybe not dance for money, but I would do the hokey poky for money. Creepers.

Why I Hate Design

Not that any of you will read this, especially my friend J-dog (because it is too much text), but as I was visiting her tonight I was explaining to her why I hate graphic design. I came up with this one night (okay, it was early early morning) after working forever on a project and just had to write it down in my journal. Why I'm publishing this for the world to see, I'm not sure. Maybe it will inspire someone in some weird way.

Yes, I've procrastinated, but only because I still would have spent my life nudging and kerning and still wouldn't have been happy after five hours. But here it is 1:30 a.m. and I want to keep working on it. The sad thing is --I still won't be happy with the final result. It's almost like I get emotionally attached to these projects where I'm breathing and living only that. And in the end, it gives nothing back.

Design abuses me. It can't love me. It can't interact with me. It's inanimate. Maybe I've been trying to hide myself in design, using it as an excuse, only to find it's not the relationship I want or need. I'm the upset girlfriend on the porch running after it as it drives away into a sunset of no feeling. It's a complete one sided relationship. And I hate it.

That's why it has been so much easier not to care. To force myself not to work on it. To hate design. To hate typography. Because if I hate it I don't have to care for it. And caring means a fervent passion. For me there's no such thing as caring only a little.

And because I'm really crazy I've included the project. It's supposed to be an annual report. Don't judge me.

 

 

 

I've Even Barely Less Alive

I feel it a duty to let my faithful readers know what is going on in my life. I came down with a nasty cold. Or the swine flu. Whatever it is, it equals me wishing someone would surprise me with a bowl of made with love chicken soup. That is not a hint. More of a demand. Which is probably why you'll probably never want to visit my blog again. But to make up for it, I've included this amazing YouTube video that some of you may find hilarious while others of you may wonder if I've completly lost it. Don't worry- it's just geeky graphic design jokes. Enjoy.

I Need Help

Well, we all know I need help. But specifically, with my brand spanking new website. I'm pretty proud of it. Even though it's not finished, this little bun is baking quite well in the oven. And no, I'm not pregnant.

The thing is, there is just something missing on the home page. I don't know what to put in the black hole. I need suggestions. I've tried some photos, but it's a touchy sensitive easy to get offended design. Please offer advice. Be my muse.

Hence why I haven't gotten to the blog in awhile- finals are coming up and I'm beating my head into a peecan shell doing this website. Why I don't throw something easier together- well I may have taught myself to ease up on the perfection, but some things cannot lack perfection. This being one of them.

Maybe the person with the best idea will win some of my amazing chocolate chip cookies. Or a pet penguin. Haven't decided.

The site is (it's a no brainer) ElissaGator.com. Thanks!

It Is Here.

For you complete enjoyment and fulfillment of all you wildest fantasies- I give you... PAPYRUS.




Now go find the socks that were blown off.

The Movie Font

Oh the obsessions that come with the art world.
Watch This and you'll understand just a little more.

Your table is running

Actually, it's just a table runner. Although I don't think it will compete in any Olympic sports or anything. I made this for my mission president and his wife- all things Georgia of course. Well, I didn't make the fabric- that's a skill I haven't perfected...yet. And the white stuff is cotton. Or popcorn popping on a apricot tree. But really, it's cotton.

The Images