First world problems

Guess what? I did it. I have arrived. If I were Latin, someone would be throwing me a quinceanera. If I were the daughter of Lord and Lady Grantham, this would be my first London party. You get the idea.

I got an iPhone.

I know, Droids are better, I just sold myself to the Apple power who wants to take over my brain, blah blah blah.

It's my first smart phone, and I am stoked. I ordered it online and it got sent here in 2 days (which is miraculous for Alaska shipping standards). Today, I opened it, and started going through the activation process. After some problems and calling tech support, I was given devastating news.

I can't activate here in Alaska because I have Verizon and Verizon is not America's largest network because Alaska is part of America but Verizon is not in Alaska. Soon they'll be here, they tell me. I meant to tell them "well AT&T is here." But they were actually really nice and helpful so I didn't want to be rude.

I have to ship my iphone home so my mommy can activate it and ship it back up. For a couple of days I will have no cell service. Gasp, I know. The world actually might come to an end on Friday.

In more uplifting news, I've started to write. Like actually write a story. I don't know where it's going to go, but it makes me really happy. It's what I'm supposed to do.

And because I can't really get you all a Christmas gift, this is my gift to you. These are my jams that have inspired and motivated me to write and be happy. You should listen to them.

You're welcome.

In no particular order:

Take A Walk by Passion Pit

This song almost makes me want to take a walk, but then I realize it's -40, so I just take a walk in my head.

 

Madness by Muse

This song describes so much of life. Especially my life. Not that I've been in love, but when I am, I'm pretty sure it will be madness. Favorite part is at 4:10 (on the music video version anyway). Wow. It just builds and you feel the power and you feel like you've been blasted into space.

 

 

We Come Running by Youngblood Hawke

I'm pretty sure there's a kid's chorus in the background and it gives it a unique sound. I really like this music video. Most music videos are like "meh, whatever" but if you watch one of these, it should be this one.

 

Wanted by Hunter Hayes

Okay, this kid is only 21-years-old. I would not mind at all if he sang this to me (and meant it, of course). This video isn't my favorite, but his facial expressions are pretty endearing. I'm pretty picky in my Country selection, but I really like his stuff. 

Now I'm sure you're thinking "what, no female artists?" Not for today's list. Maybe next time.

Some interesting facts about some of the above: Hunter Hayes has Grammy nominations for best new artist, best Country solo performance, and best Country album. Muse's Madness was nominated for Best Rock Song.

My only concern is that these songs are going to get way overplayed on the radio and then it will be like when an Adele song comes on -- you really love it but you can't stand it anymore. Sigh, I guess good music just goes that way.

I love these songs because they make me feel. And I want to write stuff that makes people feel. Whether it be passion, or excitement or sadness. Don't worry, I'm not planning on writing 51 Shades of Neutral or anything like that.

And if I don't write for awhile, Merry Christmas! 

Just How Cold Is It In Fairbanks? Part 2

Last week it dumped snow. That's not even the best part. The best part is it got up to 20 degrees. As in 20 above 0. I think that lasted 1.5 days. It snowed so much they canceled school because the buses couldn't get through it (Fairbanks is used to snow, but it was over a foot in a 24 hour period and they just couldn't keep up with clearing the roads). It was my day off, and I had plans to go out and do things, but Deb told me not to try to drive anywhere because the roads were so bad.

Luckily, by the time I had to go to work the next day, the roads were basically cleared. Deb said when this much snow happens at once they have to haul it out of the city, because you can't exactly keep making a snow wall on the side of the road. I guess technically you could, but then people would get really mad.

Speaking of a snow wall, at the university they make an ice wall every year. As soon as the temps start dropping below freezing they start to spray water onto this 35 foot frame and before you know it, ice wall! You can then rent gear to climb it. Like rock climbing, except slightly colder. And slipperier. And colder.

Remember how I said it got up to 20 degrees? Well I'm pretty sure the weather was climbing an ice wall and suddenly fell off because within 30 hours or so it dropped to -40. That's a 60 degree difference. On my laptop it says it's currently -46. Today we only had the first hour of church because of the temperature. Winter church regulations: -30 church is 2 hours, -40 church is 1 hour, -50 church is optional. It's because they don't have outlets in the parking lot so we can't plug our cars, meaning they will literally freeze if left out in those conditions too long.

It's too cold even for ice. Let me explain. There's a lot of ice sculptures around here, because, well they can make them in November and they'll last until April and why not. But if it gets too cold, the ice gets brittle and the sculptors can't work with the ice and then the wings start falling off angels and then you have to glue them back on and then Tinkerbell dies. Tragic.

Coming home from work tonight I'm pretty sure I small icicle formed on the corner of my eye. I wanted to give it a name, like Squishy, except Freezy, and it would be all mine. Instead it melted and died.

The ice fog was the worst I've seen it tonight. At one point I only could see 10 feet in front of me. What's ice fog? Ice fog is when all the car exhaust, pollution, smoke from wood burning stoves and other particulates freeze and get trapped in low levels. So exactly like regular fog, except this stuff is miniscule ice crystals of crap. When you're driving behind cars you have to have a greater following distance because the exhaust immediately freezes and it's like driving through Puff the Magic Dragon, minus the drug references. 

In fact, a couple of weeks ago Fairbanks had the worst pollution in the whole nation, and greater than most places in the world, besides big cities in China. Thanks China -- we didn't want to be number one in that category. Don't worry, in the summer there's hardly any pollution, unless there's a fire, then there's a bunch of ash, so take that and smoke it.

Here's me in a frozen sleigh with a frozen Santa in North Pole. He also had 8 ice reindeer, but I didn't feel like straddling something that would undoubtedly chap my thighs and perhaps sterilize me from ever having children.



Now I need to clarify something. There are few things in my life that I am able to have bragging rights over, and living in Fairbanks during the winter is one of them. Someone (I won't mention names...) challenged me because she stated that she had lived in a certain southeastern Idaho town where there's a certain LDS owned college and once it got to 50 below.


Being the good researcher and humble bragger that I am, I checked up on that. The coldest it's gotten in that certain potato growing village was -30 back in the 80s. It rarely drops below -20.

Whew. Glad I got that off my chest. I feel better.

And for those of you going to warm destinations for Christmas, like, I don't know, Hawaii... I hope you have a wonderful time. And that the ice machine in the hotel starts spewing ice into your room. That is all.

Just how cold is Fairbanks cold? Part I: Cars

In our paper we put a graphic of the state of Alaska with the weather forecast for main cities (all 6 of them). For Anchorage, which is 6 hours south of us, the high was -1 and the low was -8 and the blurb said something like "Sunny and very cold with snow flurries in the evening."

For Fairbanks, the high was -30 and the low was -36 and the blurb said "Some sun and very cold with cold snap continuing through the week."

Let's break this down. The difference between -1 and -30 is 29 degrees. That's the difference between a nice 71 degree day and a hot 100 degree day. You notice how I use different adjectives: nice vs. hot. The Eskimos may have 40 different words for "snow," but apparently anything below 0 is just "very cold." 

Mark Zuckerberg has yet to create the facebook option where you can feel things through the internet, so I'm going to have to explain what -35 is, because I'm betting most of you haven't experienced it.



Fairbanks "very cold" is so cold that you have to plug your car in while you're at work, else your engine, oil and battery would freeze. At many work places, such as mine, they have these posts with outlets that you plug a freeze fancy extension cord into and the other end into a plug coming out the front of your car. They even light up so you know there's juice flowing. 

It's true. I'm cheating. These aren't my pics, but they're linked back to the original site. Don't go too judgmental on me, I'm living in very cold weather.

Now, some people have this sweet device called an auto start for their cars. The device is attached to your key chain and before you go outside you push the button for your car to start so it gets warm before you have to risk your life. It takes about 10-15 minutes, depending on how comfy cozy you want your car to be. Really fancy auto starts have sensors inside the car and if the inside temperature gets below -5, it automatically turns the car on to warm it back up.

I do not have an auto start. I did recently buy a car, and it would be awesome to have one, but getting an auto start installed is about a quarter of what I paid for the car, so it's just not worth it to me.

Because of this, when I get into my car at the end of the night, it is slightly cold inside. I recently bought these extreme gloves that are leather and down goose feather crazy insulated; in fact if I wear them inside for more than 2 minutes my hands start to sweat -- but it's so cold these gloves aren't cutting it because I can feel the cold radiating from the steering wheel. I don't grip the steering wheel very hard.

This concludes this section of "Just how cold is Fairbanks cold?" Stay tuned for more informative reasons on why I deserve lots more gifts this year.