Editor's Note: We're sorry about any inconveniences that have come about due to the lack of advice posting from Elissa Gator. We're sure you're no longer crying yourself to sleep. But to what the public really want to know, what happened to Elissa Gator and her fabulous advice column? Elissa Gator was kidnapped by an evil-average intelligence person while she was taking a nap in her own home (and some might know how vulnerable/dangerous she is while in sleep mode).
When she woke, she was in an abandoned bandanna warehouse. She escaped by blind folding (resourcefully using one of the bandannas) her kidnapper, spinning him around 30 times, and telling him to pin the tail on the gorilla. Because gorillas do not have tails, the kidnapper continued in a futile effort while she walked out, unharmed.
We do not know why he took her. We believe he may have written in for advice that he then found too sarcastic and too true. Or he was an eHarmony suitor angry that she never fully signed up for the service. While safe and secure, Elissa Gator has not been able to give her daily advice. It has not been because no one was actually asking her for her advice, or that she got slightly bored, or that the pressure to be funny, ahem, adviceful, gave her a bad case of the writer's block - it was really because of the kidnapping.
We do not know when she'll resume advice giving posts (although we suspect if there were some really good questions asked, she might be able to muster up the old goat again). Regular blogging about uninteresting things will continue. Thank you for your understanding. Oh, and she wanted to say: You're welcome.
1 comment:
glad you made it out alive!
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