Icy Hot

I know you're all dying to know if I've hit anyone while driving those 40 foot monsters. I've only hit air pockets and frost heaves, thank you very much. In all honesty I'm doing pretty good. But when we're not driving buses, we're looking for other ways to get in trouble.

Like going to an ice museum.

The ice museum was pretty small, but pretty sweet. It's kept at 20 degrees all year, so I guess you could technically say that for most of the year they have to heat it (get it, because it's usually ever colder outside?) Actually, I have no idea. I just know everything inside is made of ice.

They give you jackets to wear inside the museum, isn't that nice of them? 
 

I'm pretty proud of myself because I didn't bring in a tripod but was still able to get some cool (and I do mean cool) pictures. The colors come from little colored Christmas lights, and the ice is usually melted right around where the light is.

The detail was pretty impressive. They had a bar inside where you could pay more money to drink a martini out of an ice glass or some touristy junk. Instead, we brought blow dryers and drank the sculptures.

The ice museum is located at this place called Chena Hot Springs. It is a natural mineral hot spring in the middle of the mountains, so it's pretty legit to take a dip when it's -40 outside. The day we went it was like +40, so still cool enough to have some dramatic effect, but not extreme enough to have your body suddenly break in half due to temperature extremes. Although they are open year round and people do like to torture themselves.

We had packed a picnic dinner, and even though it was nice outside, the mosquitoes weren't so nice so we ate inside. If you've ever heard legends of Alaskan mosquitoes, they're all true. They're known as Alaska's state bird because they're so ginormous.

I'm sure you're thinking "well how do they survive the winter?" which is exactly what I thought, but rest assured the mosquito eggs have this special incubator gel in them so they are able to lie dormant over the coldest part of winter (just the eggs, not the actually sucking birds).

Once break up happens, things start to melt, but there is no where for all the melted ice to go, and we all know (or will know now that I'm telling you) what happens when there is a bunch of stagnant water: mosquitoes.Thankfully, they usually go away by the end of July.


Speaking of suckers:

In other random blog worthy news, I got a bad cold this past week and so I've been out of touch with reality.  Don't worry, I haven't had too many delusions of grandeur.


We've got a nice little posse; once season starts I think it might break up because everyone's schedules will be so different. For the time being we do everything together, and it usually happens at our place. To be honest I haven't had this much fun in life since Attila was a Hun.

Here's a picture I took of the sun setting, which I think happened around 10:30. At night. Crazy, right? I'm pretty stoked for the midnight sun. They don't have fireworks on the 4th of July because it never gets dark enough!

Today we went to a co-worker's house for a bar-b-que. Her husband is an ice trucker and is on the reality TV show Ice Road Truckers. She was telling us all sorts of crazy stories about what goes down in the life of an ice trucker. They actually spray water on one part of the highway so that it will freeze more evenly and he actually drives out on the frozen ocean in the Arctic to bring supplies to the rigs.

One time there was a camp of 200 men who hadn't received food for several days due to harsh weather, so for four days her husband hand shoveled snow to get his truck across to the camp. Keep in mind you have to keep your truck running the whole time or everything will freeze and you're in a whole lot of trouble. I've never seen the show but we're going to have a marathon and watch all the episodes. She said that besides having to re-enact dramatic scenes, the danger they portray on the show is spot on.

I tell you what, this is just the beginning of all the interesting people I'm going to meet this summer.

I'm in Alaska.

Basic Animal Instincts

Dear Elissa Gator,
I am stuck in a florescent lit, panel ceiling, closed off classroom with 26 other people. I want to bang my head on my clipboard and hope I am rendered unconscious. What should I do?
Bored Bella

Babbling Bumpkin,
I hear you. In fact, I'm in that situation right now. Weird how some of the questions I get coincide with my present life problems. Difference between you and me is I don't write into advice columns for help.

But I'll still help you.

This is what you do when you're so bored you're beyond the point of falling asleep, past a healthy sanity level, far away from functioning on a socially acceptable norm: you give into your basic animal instincts and let it all go. Despite the common held belief that this sounds like chaos, we know that there is a process to chaos.

1. While sitting down, start grunting and making obscure animal noises. I personally prefer the mating call of the African ant eater. Most people haven't heard it and will therefore be thrown off guard. I loving throwing people metaphorically.

2. When people start looking in your direction (and they will if you're doing it right), bare your teeth and hiss. On the off chance you don't have teeth, bare your fingernails in a threatening manner. Never bare your soul, unless you're a bear.

3. While doing the above two, start ripping at your clothes using a ball point pen. By using the pen you are sticking it to the man while effectively ruining your clothes. Ink is demon to remove.

4. Standing on one foot, leap across the room in one fail swoop (minus the failing part). Flail your hands and in American Sign Language sign "I am animal and I am now free." Make sure you sign this before you reach the opposite side of the room while in mid leap. It's imperative.

5. By now, the teacher/boss/probation officer/North Korean war lord should know you mean business and you're not going to take that learning crap any more. Hopefully they'll get the hint and avoid you. If not, ask them to join you (in ASL, of course).

6. Caged animals go crazy looking for an escape route. Imitate this by eating the panel ceiling. This may take awhile, but if you pretend it tastes like white cheddar rice cakes and have irritable bowel syndrome, you should be able to eat a 20x20 room in 5 hours. Eating the panels also takes your mind off of nutrients that your body craves and has been denied because you've been stuck in class.

7. At this pint Animal Control, Police or the IRS may have been notified of the situation. They have protocol to follow -- I'd look up their play book under "people who self com-bust into animal behavior and write into advice columns" so you'll know what to expect.

In the case of the Animal Control or the po-po, they usually deal with these type of circumstances with tranquilizers manufactured in remote Australian sheep farms. The IRS bring in boxes of tax forms you have to fill  out -- unfortunately their success rate with killing your animal drive is currently at 99.8%. Pray the IRS aren't called.

There you have it. I'm not going to lie, I'd love if you were prepared enough to video the whole thing and put it on youtube later. I'd watch it and like it.

You're welcome.

Death and Lights

My excuse for not being more diligent in blogging is the fact that we don't have a table. Or a desk. We just have the floor. Do you know how much your butt starts hurting after sitting on the floor/mattresses to accomplish all your computer tasks? The answer is a lot. I'm hoping this week we'll buy some junky top with legs. And no, that's not a prostitute joke.

Yes, we found an apartment.

Yep, I'm too lazy to rotate the picture of the hallway. Deal with it.

The inside is newly remodeled; new carpet, flooring, paint, doors, fixtures. In making it look nice they forgot to also update the kitchen, so sometimes I feel like I should be looking for the Beav. It's a one bedroom, and kind of far from work, but Mitch and I were so desperate to get a decent place we said "yes please" on the spot. Mitch sleeps out in the front room and I get the massive back room. Right now there is only my lonely mattress on the floor with my random stuff strewn across the floor. I would clean it up, but then the room would look even bigger.

The first two nights we slept on the floor. Thankfully, we have been uber blessed to know a family that I met in Georgia who are up here on base. They hooked us up with some great stuff and helped moved our mattresses from the store to our abode. We also got to go over there for Easter dinner and play with their kids. Knowing people is a really great thing and I highly recommend it. Unless you know them and they want to kill you. I'd avoid that.

I am getting a little ahead of myself. The very first Friday we were here, we found out that my grandmother passed away. I wasn't surprised because she was extremely sick with cancer and it was only a matter of time. Thankfully, like 2 weeks before I went to Alaska I went with my mom and aunt to go see her and I'm so grateful that I did.

My grandfather had died 12 years previously, so besides being happy that she didn't have to suffer anymore, we also had the wonderful assurance that she was with him again. I made her funeral program and listed her progenitors. She had 8 kids and with the addition of their spouses, grandchildren, grandchildren-in-law (is that even a phrase?) and great grandchildren, there are exactly 100 people. That is a legacy. She is a very stubborn lady and was uncompromising when it came to the gospel. She is also full of love and kindness for others. I'm excited to see her when she'll be free of mortal disease and aches.

One story that was told at the funeral that was then related to me goes as following:

The stake president had brought his young son to the ground breaking of the Phoenix LDS temple. He was upset because he was missing his soccer game. The father was trying to calm him down, when up walks my grandma. She asked him what was wrong and gave him some kind words. During the ceremony, she turned to him and said "I don't think you're going to make it to that soccer game, they're taking a long time to do all their talking." After, she told him she knew he was sad he didn't get to go to his soccer game, but that being there was so much more important. This was just one example of countless incidents where she showed her faith - even when it wasn't the most exciting place to be, she was always where she was supposed to be.

A few days after we found out about my grandma, we were told that my 7 year old Golden Retriever dog, Captain Jack Sparrow, had to be put down because of cancer.

Cancer sucks. I'm still pissed about his death.

However, about a month ago I read a sweet story about a boy who had to put down his dog and when his parents or the vet weren't able to answer why his beloved friend had such a short life here, he sat down and pondered the question himself. He then told them that if the purpose of life is to love others, that dogs perfect that principle quickly and don't need as much time on earth to figure it out.

It's hard to explain to someone who has never had a beloved animal, but if you have, then you know how true this little boy's statement was. If I was ever upset or crying, Captain would always find me and put his gentle head on my knee and I  knew that no matter how harsh the world was, Captain loved me without reservations.

I'm  going to move on now before I start bawling for the rest of the night.

Needless to say, we had a bit of a rough beginning. Despite that, I've had many reminders of God's love for me. One of those being the Northern Lights. I've only seen them one night, and it was about 15 degrees and 1 a.m., but it was one of the most beautiful displays of God's majesty that I've ever seen. Sure, science has figured out why they happen, but that doesn't make them less spectacular.

The auroras are one of those things that is impossible to describe or capture in a photograph. For me, it was like a visual representation of a celestial lullaby. They move and ripple like ribbons in water and do a ballet in the sky. See, told you it was hard to describe. Apparently they even make sounds and you can hear them if it's silent enough.

I'm hoping to still have some chances to see them before the sun stays out all night. I didn't know the best way to photograph them, but for you photo nerds out there, I left my aperture open for 30 seconds. I would have left it on longer, but I forgot my remote. Then again, if you leave it open for too long, your picture will probably just be a blur of colored clouds.

This coming September when they come on strong again and it gets dark enough, I'm hoping to go down to Denali and see and shoot them there.

This was my favorite picture. I probably took about 50. It kind of reminds me of the movie Hocus Pocus when the witches do something at the school and this green cloud comes streaming from the roof. Anyone else?

That's it for tonight. I don't want to bore you to tears (that was one of my grandma's sayings. She had a lot of them). Next time I'll write about the adventures in driving a 45 foot bus. Oh, and I signed up on Twitter @ElissaGator in case you were getting ulcers waiting for me to jump into another social networking pit.

We Made It To Alaska Part 2

If you're interested in the prequel of this post, go here.

  (This is a picture of me, from the view of our 2nd hotel room. I was trying to attract moosen).

I figured once we landed we would rent a car at the airport to get all of our crap-ola to the hotel and find ourselves an apartment.

Fun fact: when renting a car at the Fairbanks airport, there is a 20% tax on top of your rental fee. In other words, it was going to be $300 to rent a small car for less than a week.

Fun fact #2: You must have a credit card to rent a car. No, a Visa card linked up to your checking account will not work. I even offered my first born child, but the lady behind the counter looked at me like she'd rather be skinning a griz (colloquial term meaning grizzly bear).

You may be thinking that at this point in time I was about ready to throw a tantrum in the airport. I was running on little sleep and little food. And I wasn't even running. I would have thrown a tantrum, but I'm pretty sure I heard that TSA has some regulations against it. We found a taxi instead.

Driving to our hotel, I was a little disappointed in what I was seeing. I guess I thought Fairbanks would be this quaint town with only log cabins where moosen and bears had afternoon tea with the human inhabitants. Nope, it's actually a regular city, just on a small scale and with lots and lots of snow. Somehow seeing a McDonald's kind of kills a little bit of the adventure. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty here, and I've grateful for the civilization.

I had booked us at the Holiday Inn Express through Hotwire.com. Which, by the way, I highly recommend. I've gotten killer deals on that site. Thankfully, the hotel shares a parking lot with Walmart, Petco, Lowes, Old Navy and a couple of food places. I was in need of some 2x4s, and I was able to walk over to Lowes to get some.

Wednesday we just crashed. My brain was the equivalent of a a sour patch kid, citric acid included.

Thursday we got bought a car. It's a 1995 Toyota Avalon XLS. It even has a sun roof. We were very blessed to find this one for such a decent price and so quickly. We decided that it was a good think that we didn't put all that money towards a dumb rental, so the Lord does work in mysterious ways. Although I don't think He goes around wearing sunglasses and a trench coat with the collar up.

Despite having some aesthetic challenges (i.e. duck tape), it runs really well and does awesome on the icy roads. Mitch is a little sad it has such good traction, he's tried multiple times to get it to slide all over the place. Silly him.

We do need to give it a name, so any suggestions would be appreciated.

For the most part I haven't noticed people having an accent up here. I was talking to a lady about shoes and she said "yeah I love ski-chers" (she meant skechers).

I'm kind of rambling, but I'm trying to make sure you live vicariously through me, hence the insane detail. And I know it's not as cool without tons of pictures, but I'm working on it.

Friday we had our first training session. It went pretty well. Right now most of the class consists of people over 55, but they'll be based in Denali. The other drivers for Fairbanks will be coming up in May, they've been getting trained in Utah and Seattle, and will probably be a younger crowd.

Because of the dynamic of the class, there were some interesting questions asked. Like we were told that the uniform for the men include a tie. An elderly gentlemen raised his hand and said "Could we get clip on ties? I think regular ties are a real safety issue. If an older person tripped, they could grab your tie and bring you down with them." The trainer informed him that no, they couldn't get clip on ties. No judgement, just merely reporting on my life here.

Then after an exorbitant amount of time talking about our log books, some crazy asked the trainer what would happen if our bus somehow traveled in time 3 years in the past, but our log book was in present time, would we be in violation of any laws, beside the law of space-time-continuum. 

Okay, if you haven't already guessed, that crazy was me. And yes, I really did ask the trainer that, but after class was done. I had to make sure they got vague idea of who I was the first day. I can't have them claiming they knew nothing about my ways at the beginning if we ever had to go to court. Which I'm not worried about going to court, because I'll obviously be stuck in time. 

That about sums it up for today. It feels like we've been here forever. We should hopefully find an apartment this week (we've been persistently looking, promise) and then I'll make a fun post about that. 


Don't you miss me?

We Made It To Alaska

 After 18 hours of traveling and one trip through a worm hole, we arrived in the biggest state of the union. It will never be the same.

Our story starts on Tuesday at 4:45 where we get dropped off at the airport with our massive amounts of luggage. You can't expect a girl to go minimalist when living in Alaska for 6 months, can you? First we go to Oakland, have a layover, then onto Seattle.

We arrived in Seattle at 11 p.m., and because our flight to Alaska was the next morning at 6 a.m., we decided to hard core it and spend the night in the airport. To sum up sleeping in the airport, I'll quote my brother Mitch, whom when I asked how he slept said "I slept like a baby. I woke up every ten minutes and cried." I think I've finally found a place I have not been able to successfully sleep in. Maybe it was too quiet.

Because we slept in the airport, we decided to not go get our luggage down at the baggage claim. That meant that it got locked up in the Southwest office. Which in term meant at 4:45 a.m. we had to find a Southwest agent to unlock the office (that took about 20 minutes), then check our luggage with Alaska Airlines (which took like 30 minutes because they were STRUGGLING. Seriously, it was the stereotypical scene at the airport where there's a huge line and only two agents and because the person checking in had a suitcase full of animal organs from China they had to spend more time on the computer).

By the time we finally got through security, the plane was boarding. It meant no breakfast for us. Our stomachs may not have been happy, but our wallets were grateful because when you're eating a $10 sandwich you almost feel guilty while eating it.

Thankfully, we both peacefully slept the 3.5 hours to Alaska. I did try to see if we were flying over the ocean or Canahdiah, but there were clouds the whole way. When we finally were able to see land, they were beautiful snow covered mountain ranges. I wanted to take a picture but we were in our "final descent" so all electronics had to be off. I thought about sneaking in a picture, but I didn't want to be responsible for us crashing onto an island and having to fight off mysterious black smoke (LOST, anyone?)

Stay tuned for more adventure...