Sunday, October 23, 2011

There's An App For That


I'm going to share something with you. I don't have a smartphone. Please still be my friend. But if I did have a smartphone, these are some of the apps I would make for it (and then I'd sell them and make $$$millions$$$; but I'd give them to you for free, of course). 

Pregnancy App: Pee on your phone. If it still works after you've done that -- congrats, you're pregnant. 
 
Dumb People Alert: Alerts you as you approach dumb people. Going into public may cause it to work too hard and eventually break. 
 
Get You Hired App: Writes meaningful cover letters targeting future employers. *Must be prepared to show extraordinary skills (like nunchuck skills) to said future employers during interviews.
 
Scratch n' Sniff App: In beta version; works best for things that actually smell like glass or plastic. 
 
Ironing App: Shirt wrinkled before big meeting? This app overheats your phone; press phone to shirt and voila! *One time use app
 
Paranoia App: Lets you know when someone's watching you. Then again, we're always watching you
 
Hebrew Word App: Translates every word in the bible into Hebrew and tells you how to pronounce it correctly. You'll be the smartest (albeit most annoying) cat in Sunday school. 
 
Happy Bird Game: Colorful birds help green pigs build fortresses while cheerfully singing their birdy songs. Bambi and his alive mother make an appearance.

3 comments:

Adrian said...

It's a shame you don't have a smart phone or the knowledge of how to make apps. Some of these are hilariously good! Yes, lets talk trip planning next time we are both online. Or you know, on the phone. :)

Tyson and Jacquelin said...

I just read your grandma post and that's hilarious. I've dealt with patients with UTIs and it totally makes them crazy! Also, congrats to your brother! My Aunt and Uncle live in Winterville GA just outside of Athens and they are inactive so tell him to convert them hahaha. I seriously think you should come out here to visit. It would be so much fun!

Alyson Samantha said...

I would use many of these on a daily basis. I'll leave it up to you to try and guess which ones.