I apparently can't come up with original blog posts, so instead I'm torturing you with another e-mail I sent. This is the weekly RS newsletter I email out (it obviously changes from week to week). What can I say, I like seeing my post quantity up. But I do promise this isn't like usual Relief Society newsletters.
After today's lesson (about talents for those of you who missed it), I decided to focus on developing my newsletter skills. You'll be seeing newsletters that have even more thought put into them, like "when life gives you lemons, re-gift them to a friend who is getting married." Man alive, my newsletter talent is blossoming already. What talent are you going to develop? I'd love to know.
Monday: FHE at the Northpark Ward building to make pinewood derby cars. Little known fact -- Fred Flinstone traded in his stone and foot mobile for a pinewood derby car. Unfortunately, it only worked on downward slopes.
Tuesday: Volleyball at 8 p.m. The volleyball currently being used was made in the same factory as "Wilson," the only famous volleyball from the movie Castaway.
Wednesday: Fontana Stake YSA activity "Music Appreciation." I myself enjoy listening to a well rehearsed symphony of dog whistles.
Thursday: Institute at 7 p.m. I'd be careful if the teacher tells you to open your heart to the scriptures; leave that stuff to heart surgeons.
Friday: Dance somewhere. No, really, dance wherever you happen to be Friday night.
Saturday: National Clean Out Whatever Is Under Your Bed day. This especially applies to those who keep the trolls with the jeweled bellies captive beneath their bed -- pretty sure that's against the law in some countries.
Sunday: Father's Day -- so no potluck; instead cook your dad something real nice. But don't cook your nice neighbors. That's considered cannibalism and a violation of your home owner's association.
*Those sisters who signed up for baptisms on the 14th -- this is your reminder that you are supposed to be there at 6 p.m. Feel free to carpool, but don't ever poolcar.
*There was a mathematical error in last week's newsletter. Apparently the probability of meeting your EC at either FHE or linger longer is equal to the probability of meeting him at FHE plus the probability of meeting him at linger longer MINUS the probability of meeting him at both. 72.3% + 72.3% - (72.3% x 72.3%) = 92.3%. Not the 144.6% we were shooting for, but I say they are still good odds.
Until next Sunday (which by the way, the new Bishopric assigned me to talk, so come and show your love for me. And of course for Jesus.), I bid you a week of hugs, loves, and puppy dog doves. Whatever those are.
Your stalwart presidency: [I usually include phone numbers and e-mail addresses, but to protect their innocence, I deleted it.]
President: Elissa *Once thought she could turn grapes into raisins if she held them on a plate and stood outside long enough.
1st Counselor: Iris *Attempted to memorize the dictionary, but got stuck on aardvark.
2nd Counselor: Danielle*Graduates this Saturday. We always knew she'd make it through driver's ed!
4 comments:
haha this is awesome. It makes me want to be a way cooler 1st counselor :)
I want to be in your ward.
I seriously love you.
Why didn't I know you are RS pres?
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