Mommy and Me

Dear ElissaGator,
I don't mean to really complain, but my mom has better looks than I do. When we go out clubbing together, she always get hit on by the guys, while I'm left alone. What can I do? 
-Mad at Mother


Muriel,
Wait. Did you say you go clubbing with your mom? Well of course you did, because I can read. I had no idea there was such a thing as a mommy daughter club. What, is it called Mommy and Me? Do they give out prizes for the mom and daughter that look the most skank alike? This is your problem. Men that go to these clubs are looking for a father role, so of course they're going to hit on your mother. They don't want some fun young thang to have a relationship with; they want someone that already has children that they can make an impact on. And I'm guessing a lot of these guys may have just been released from prison (because obviously their judgment is impaired). Find some age appropriate friends (hopefully uglier than you) and find another club. 


You're welcome. 


*Syndicated Editor's note: ElissaGator has taken the challenge to answer/give advice freely for the next 30 days. She would have done it for the next 365 days, had the thought of utter failure not demised her attempts. You may ask her any question about herself, or ask for any advice for yourself or in behalf of a loved/hated/neutrally-platonic one. 

This is day 10 of 30.